Just A Game Of Cutthroat

Of course it is the end to another year, without the planet exploding, absent of alien takeovers, or nuclear Armageddon. Note, the previous sentence was my sad attempt at some new years humor.

I have never been one to really make new year's resolutions. Each year has passed by, and even considerations of doing so have simply been glanced over by my mind. I suppose that I could desire to make the following changes to my life without the need to specify it as new year's resolutions, but why not. Therefore, the following  are the things that I want to at least make an attempt at in the following year:

1) I want to become for financially smart, stop spending money on pointless things
2) I want to strive to be more friendly, make more friends and the like
3) I want to do better in school, bring up my G.P.A.
4) I want to start playing guitar again, I will not become any good if I do not play
5) I want to stop living in the past, in what could have been

Really only five things that I want to change come to mind, but that does not mean that I will not want to change things later. As existing beings we always have the opportunity to change, to become better and improve on what we see as faults in ourselves. Definitely no one is perfect, and no one ever will be, but I want to strive to be happy with who I am, and to be the best person I  can be.

Boxed Up Memories

As of now, I have decided to change the name of this blog to "Lost But Who Cares" with no guarantees that it will stay this way or change to something different. I also think I shall keep the URL the same, because part of me does not want to forget the roots that I started this blog on, of moving forward towards graduation.

Now for the reason of the name. One might glance at this new title and think that maybe its some sad commentary on the state of our modern world, that people can be so impersonal, so uncaring that no one cares for strangers, or even entirely for friends. It might even be able to be said that no one would care about that lost individual struggling to find their way, allowing them to get swept up in the flow of everything else, losing their individuality.

That is not what this is about and my blog has never been that way, and I do not see it anytime in the near future being about that. There are opportunities to do things in life, and to experience a multitude of things, but who knows what the next thing will be. In that sense, I am lost as I do not know what is coming next. Truth is though, I do not think that matters because I will do my best to take each step as it comes, and I do not care that I simply do not know that next step. Therefore I am lost but who cares.

On a side note, I would like to share the following which was brought up on facebook by an old foe/friend:

If you have not heard of it, it is from a website called brotips.com which I myself have come to notice on the internet for its witty and humorous advice and remarks. The way I see it, although easily related to sailing, I feel like it can apply to life in general. Simply put, if one can handle the difficulties that life throws at them, they are capable of being an awesome person.

Well Deserved

Last week was the end to my first semester of college. I was confident about how well I would do on my finals, and might have been a little overconfident. I did not do as well as I would have hoped, but in the end my GPA did not change very much, but with only a little decrease. Of course, there are freshman I know that ended up above even a 3.5 or somewhere around there, I find myself proud of a measly 2.88, but a lot on the fact that I maintained a full 18 credit hour semester. And next semester I'll know what I need to do to pull some better grades.

About two months ago, I was dating a girl who I had fallen in love with and thought that I would be spending the rest of my life her. We ended up going to two different schools only three hours away, but we did not have an easy way to see each other. It ended up being that three hours was too much for her, even though I was willing to deal with what I called the huge mountain of suck, because she said we would stay together. I was a fool who was in love, and simply enough, she lied to me. That really hurt me, and to make matters more painful, she already had another boyfriend right after she broke up with me yet after only knowing him for about two months. The kicker, she won't be going to college next year and is gonna move into an apartment with him instead.

Some people get their heart broken, but others will know how it feels to get your heart ripped out and shredded. Since then I have been attempting to move on, or at least occupy my mind so I don't think about it. I have been talking to girls but I have never been exactly the greatest, so at times it is hard to tell where I stand with them or anything along those lines.

That was until yesterday. There is this one girl that I've known the past two years, and last week we started texting each other. These past couple of days anytime my phone vibrates I always hope its a text from her. Now onto yesterday, when we hung out. We chose to go to the mall, where we pretty much just wandered around, watched a movie, went ice skating, and ate some dinner. It was all very fun, and there was never a dull moment.

The crucial moment arose during the movie. While simply kidding around by poking her in her sides to make her laugh, I decided to hold her hand. And she held my hand back. I can understand why one may not exactly see it as a big deal but I feel like it was a huge step forward. It means that while maybe I might still be hurt and broken, there is a glimmer of hope, a brighter future to look forward to.

The Ultimate Sacrifice

Thousands of candles,
Wax dripping onto the cold hands of many,
And onto the heart of our home.
A family mourns the loss of their own,
As a community is brought back together.
We are Virginia Tech,
We will prevail.

A Girl Worth Fighting For

I saw this post on one of my Bud's wall and thought I would share. I find it very impressive what our men and women in uniform do for us, all the sacrifices that they make that allow us to continue to have our freedom.  I am glad that I will be given my chance to do my part for my country and although I may not exactly believing in fighting, or what we might be doing, but in the end I know it is all alright because I am doing it for the nation I love.

A Soldier's Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone, 

In a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone. 

I had come down the chimney with presents to give, 

And had to see just who in this home did live. 

I looked all about, a strange sight I did see, 

No tinsel, No Presents, Not even a tree. 

No stocking by the mantle, just boots full of sand. 

On the wall hung pictures, of a distant land. 

With Medals and Badges, Awards of all kinds, 

A sober thought, came to mind. 

For this house was different, it was dark and dreary, 

I found the home of a Soldier, Once I could see clearly. 

The Soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone, 

Curled up on the floor, In his one bedroom home. 

The face was so gentle, The room in such disorder, 

Not how I pictured, A United States Soldier. 

Was this the hero of whom I'd just read? 

Curled up on a poncho, The floor for a bed? 

I realized the families that I saw this night, 

Owed their lives to these Soldiers, who where willing to fight. 

Soon around the world, children would play, 

And grownups would celebrate, a bright Christmas day. 

They enjoyed Freedom, each month of the year, 

Because of these Soldiers, like the one lying here. 

I couldn't help wonder, how many lay alone, 

On a cold Christmas Eve, In a land Far from home. 

The very thought, brought a tear to my eye. 

I dropped to my knees and started to cry. 

The Soldier awakened, and I heard a rough voice, 

"Santa don't cry, this life is my choice; 

I fight for Freedom, I don't ask for more, 

My life is my God, My Country, My Corps." 

The Soldier rolled over, and soon drifted to sleep. 

I couldn't control it, I continued to weep. 

I kept watch for hours, So silent and still 

And we both shivered from the cold night's chill. 

I didn't want to leave on that cold, dark night, 

This Guardian of Honor, so willing to fight. 

Then the Soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure, 

Whispered, "Carry on Santa. It's Christmas Day, All is Secure." 

One look at my watch, and I knew he was right. 

Merry Christmas my friend, And to all a good night.

Making Headway

As Christmas is almost upon us, I was in a sense ordered to come up with a comical Christmas List. Instead of leaving it as some weird and funny requests, I decided to write a letter to Santa and step it up a notch. Below is my Christmas Wishlist.

Dear Santa Claus, It seems that it is around Christmas time, and there are a few things that I want for gifts. Now since I never did get that cow when I was ten, nor did I you ever give world peace, or even a whole lot of other stuff I asked for, I feel that it is fair that for once you give me everything I ask for this year. It’s like you don’t even exist, because if you truly are magical, what I want should be easy as cake, or better yet cookie cake.
- First off, I want Fuzzy Fuchsia Bunny Slippers, and I really mean fuzzy. It should be like I am walking on a pair of clouds.
- As well, I definitely want Telekinetic powers. I want to be able to move things with my mind.
- I definitely want one of those Barbie Jeeps so I can drive down the hallway, because dragging is definitely a hassle.
- And along with that I want a Light Saber, and I mean a real one. One that can actually stab things so I can just drive along in my jeep and stab things.
- Now that I think about it, I also want a Cookie Cake, preferably Chocolate Chip.
- Something that would be really awesome would be a never aging baby duck. I could keep it as a pet and it will never grow old and become ugly.
- A Spiderman Onesie would definitely be choice, comfy, and make everyone else jealous.
- To satisfy me for a long time, I desire a Lifetime Supply of Slurpee’s and Eskimo Pies. Few things would be more delicious, besides that Cookie Cake.
- A College Degree would most likely be helpful, as that would save me the next four years.
- Finally, the last and most important thing that I need for Christmas, would happen to be a Life, oh and an Elephant Night Light.

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas as you carry out your duties for the year, and I do hope you give me what I asked for this year. Who knows what could happen if I don’t get what I want. I definitely don’t want to find out.
 Very Respectfully,
 C/ Rodriguez, K.M. TC 2-4

Table Set For Two

Last week was Thanksgiving and as such, I got a week off from school and was able to go home for the first time in three months. It was great to be back, and to visit with old friends and see old sights. I, for the most part, kept myself busy, not exactly slacking off, but I wanted to make the best use of me time home.
First off, I venture over to the local YMCA to watch my Y team's swim meet and chat with the young ones who I must say are pretty darn cool. Being there really made me miss swimming, but gave me the idea that I should really apply for a summer camp counselor job at the Y as well as volunteer as a swim team coach during the summer.
Monday I visited my high school, where I talked to all the teachers there that I have had. It was pretty awesome, but it did make me feel old. Plus, I was wearing Dress B uniform, which is what I am wearing below, and some freshman called me sir. That was kinda cool.

The rest of the week was covered by different things:
-I saw a movie with one friend, Immortals, of which I did not like to much but seeing it with a friend made it fun
-Went to a high school swim meet, and was a timer
-Participated in Black Friday for the sole purpose of getting myself a new snowboard
-Designed a tattoo for a friend
-Some new clothes
-Went to a mall with several friends
-Slayed a zombie at the shooting range with several firearms including a pink shotgun
Now I am back at school for a week and a half of classes as well as a couple of finals and a paper before my month long winter break of bigger and better adventure.
With that break also comes a new year, and new things. Last year this blog served a purpose, a way to chronicle my life around my senior year, as well as allow me to get my thoughts somewhat more organized. Now, although, I am still working towards graduation, it seems this blog is to be about something more. So with that, a title change is abound along with the new year, and probably a new template as well. (Oh, and time for new widgets, but definitely the fish shall stay) It is time to continue into this new chapter of my life with some new things.

Promises I Can't Keep

Today I rolled my BDU sleeves up today. Simple enough, BDU stands for Battle Dress uniform, an is the forest green camo worn by part of the military world. It is one of the benefits of attending a Senior Military College, because once a week I get the chance to wear, camo and have a perfectly valid reason to do so. The one thing that I do not exactly like about it is that BDUs are not the unifrom I will be wearing when I go out into the fleet after commissioning. The United States Navy currently issues Navy Work Uniforms, or NWUs, which is the blue digital camo that would do nothing if one fell into the ocean, cause what good would that do? Anyways, I am excited for Spring Semester when I shall be issued my NWUs, and will be allowed to wear them rather than BDUs.
Now back to the rolling up of my sleeves. It in fact was my first time, and it felt like a win. First off, it was quite warm in the Chemistry building, and I for once desired to roll up my sleeves. It felt kinda cool to do so while in my Chem Lab, and afterwards I did not want to pull them down, so I just left them up. Note, it was somewhere between 48 to 35 degrees outside, so it was slightly cold. It wasn't all that bad, I might add, and I do enjoy cold weather. Despite probably some glances at me, conveying other's thoughts of my insanity, I must admit, I am really glad I did it. Rolling up my sleeves did in fact make me feel good, and was a nice pick me up.

Goodnight Moon

Some parts of my day, I spend watching music videos on Youtube. And a lot of what I do enjoy listening to are the covers that are performed by members of the Youtube universe. I found myself like several channels that perform really good covers, that do the original justice. There are times when I find a cover for a song that I have never heard of before, which can possibly lead me to look up the original, and sometimes think that I prefer the cover over the original. Well, the other day I was watching a music video for a cover of a Gym Class Heroes song I have yet to heard. Needless to say, I loved the cover, but even more so, I really enjoyed the special effects used in the video. I do not really believe I have seen anything like it.

Trying To Keep My Chin Up

I have not been exactly going through the best of times lately. A lot has changed in my life in the past couple months. Pretty much all of this revolves around the whole concept of going to college. The academics side has not been the easiest to transition to, as college work is plenty harder than high school. At least I have grown used to it and have found my groove. Things no longer throw me for a loop as I can now go with the flow.
Outside of that good, things are not always great. For one, participating in a military program at a public university is not always fun, and in fact can be kind of stressful as well as tiring. Although the regimented lifestyle does keep me in line, I now realize that I used to take certain freedoms for granted. At least their are some benefits to the Corp of Cadets. I have done some cool things such as run an obstacle course, and do a forty foot rappel tower. As well as getting to wear a cool uniform, the Corp is probably a good decision with several benefits, and I am getting better with coping with the stress.
Now recently I have reached a sad point in my life, and it seems to be hard to go on in college. I am a person that looks forward to certain events, and doing so gives me more strength to make it through the days. Losing a large part of my future plans, I somewhat find it hard to get through the day and even a part of me loses motivation. And to try and get me through these next couple weeks till Thanksgiving, and the couple weeks following to Winter Break, I did take some times to find some quotes.

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." -- Wayne Dyer

"Do you know who you are? Don't Ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you." -- Thomas Jefferson

"Either you run the day or it runs you." -- Jim Rohn

"I don't believe you have to be better than anybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be." -- Ken Venturi

"If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud." -- Emile Zola

Let Us See Where We Go From Here

My name is Kris Rodriguez,
I am who I am.
Nothing in world can change that,
As it is a matter of fact.
I am a swimmer,
I am a sailor.
The water is where I belong,
It is my domain.
I am a Midshipman,
In the United States Navy,
Greatest force on, in, and around the water,
Ever known to man.
My job is to learn,
Go to college,
Get a degree,
To become an officer.
I am a Hokie,
Gobble gobble.
There is more to me,
Stuff that I might not,
Be able to comprehend,
More that can be seen.
But I am me,
And I know who I am.
But do you know,
Who you are?

My Stroke Of Genius

This week in my guitar class, as sort of a final project, I was assigned to begin work on a song, focusing on creating a melody. Right off the bat I came up with a simple five note traverse and just went from there. I had the idea to drop it down a bit and then run back to the original start with a G scale.

And that be it, including tabs, for those who dare try it. But the thing was, I liked its simplicity and the G scale run, but I did feel it was missing something. In all honesty, I'm still not to sure what its missing, maybe I'll come back to it, or not, only time will tell.
So I sat there today, just messing around, finger picking, and I stumbled on something, and I just ran with. I feel it flows well, has a good backing, and works well. It may not be my masterpiece, but its got a way to it that just fits me.

I honestly could help but write it down, because it was my little journey to write something worthwhile. Maybe I'll extend beyond this, make a full song, add lyrics, and have it all done. Only time will tell, and I will be waiting to see what I do with it.
*Edit* Oh, by my pure mechanical error, the Bs in the third and fourth measures are Cs, and also, rather than play this in six eight time, just play it as in four four, with all the eighth notes as quarter notes, and the two quarter notes at half notes. My apologizes as I have not had a chance to fix this.

For the ease of guitarist, the song is structured around the chords, G, C, and D
Now, I came across a video that is somewhat insulting, and I advise that you watch at your own discretion, but this video is truly genius. And it can be somewhat true.
*Edit* For the third and fourth measures, rather on the B string, rather than open fretting, use the first fret to maintain a C chord patter.

Gonna Write A Song

Alas, for the first time have I come across this situation. My presence on two swim teams has now caused for me to have two meets on the same day. Of course, my loyalty remains more so with my high school team. But then again, I do enjoy swimming for the Y with less pressure.
Now, to my faithful readers, you may be wondering, "What in the name of Jupiter he going to do?"
Don't worry though, because I would reply, "I have a plan" and yes, I would in fact tilt my head when I say that for italicizing effects.
To continue the conversation, "Whatever shall you do?"
"Ah Ha! By the sheer force of coincidence it seems that my meets start at different times."
I have gotten lucky as to have a 11:00am start time for my high school meet. While it shall hopefully end by 2:00pm at the very latest, that means I should be able to make my other meet by 3:00pm, only missing the mixed medley relay due to the large amount of events there shall be.
I honestly do not know how I shall fare. I have never had to pull two meets in one day so maybe I'll find some Zen zone that will propel me to some success or I shall face crushing defeat by exhaustion, either way it will be fun. My only sadness lies in the fact I will be missing the relay because I tend to get the Fly leg which I really do love.
And good news, for my fellow seniors as well as myself. We have reached 150 days till graduation, give or take depending on the school. Also, this past Saturday was the typical deadline for college applications. There is something about the relief of knowing no matter what happens from here on out, it is out of your hands to decide really what to do. Second semester is almost upon us and whatever happens is what happens. So I guess, just run with it.

Now I've heard this song on the radio at least a couple of times, but as most music heard on the radio, it just slips into the back on my mind. But today, by the good graces of those at iTunes, the video was placed on the free downloads page. Which made me decided to watch it. To my amazement, NINJAS! Its not that I have anything great to say about the song. It is slightly catchy and I do like the sound of it. Plus I kinda like the cream colored electric played by the lead singer but would never buy one. But because of the NINJAS! I had to post it.

Two-sday

Finally, today in physics class, I was able to shoot off my catapult. Despite leaving my catapult in class before the winter break, now with school having resumed, we did the measurements. My catapult was able to fling the ping-pong ball a distance of sixteen feet. Maybe not much, but I do know that it was my catapult that I built on my own.
Swim practice resumed today for both my high school team and my Y team. Having a two week break made it hard to get back into the routine but it did end up feeling good. Of course, my masochistic side was happy as various abdomen regiments and push ups were added, the pain can feel really good.
I received an awesome addition to my couple of stickers placed on the rear window of my car. First off was the one stating, "Instant swimmer, just add water." Also, I received another saying, "Its not how fast you swim, its not how far you swim, its how far you swim fast." Of course that was a tribute more so to a distance swimmer, but the motivational level did make it necessary to add it as well.