Day 9: Snow Ball Fights With Buildings

Day 9. How you hope your future will be like

In the words of my best friend, "Not sucky." That honestly seems to be a simple enough definition of what I hope my future will be like. I would like to be financially sound, have married the perfect woman for me, have some lovely children, and similar stuff like that. There is no way I can guarantee that but I bet if I work hard enough for it, it'll all work out in the end.

Day 8: Dedication, Motivation, Excellence

Day 8. A moment you felt most satisfied in your life {your happiest moment}

I can at least say for me the tension was high, my stomach knotting up, and feelings of inadequacy became common as my swim career clock was ticking. My chance of making it to states was in the hands of three others in a relay, who themselves would have plenty more opportunities to make it. I was worried because they themselves could not possibly put themselves in my shoes, and we had already dropped a large amount of time in only about two weeks.

The odds were stacked against us and even I felt a pang of regret as I began to agree with the naysayers. This was not who I am, I was not someone who would give up so easily. I had to give my last ditch effort, to leave it all in the pool. Leading off the relay, I pushed myself to the limit I could greatest conceive. My arms could not have moved faster, and there was no way I could have kicked harder. It all seemed to be going well, but it still did not seem like enough as the next two teammates did their part.

It all came down to our anchor, who was in fact the fastest swimmer on our team, and it all rested on his shoulders. But after his flip turn he seemed to be moving way to slow. It movements just so relaxed despite the pressure of the race. Time was ticking and all I could do was just stand and stare as it felt that it was all slipping away. He touched the wall, the clocked stop, and as I tried to hold onto what was left of my swimming career, I compared the time to mental notes of what was needed.

Nothing else mattered at that moment. It was five years of hard work, constantly pushing my body to new limits all the time. It was possibly one of the scariest moments I had ever experienced, this uncertainty was not a feeling I could honestly say I liked. Yet in its own moment, it was serene, the time was final, and once sure, we knew we had qualified for states. We had accomplished what was unexpected.

Day 7: Whats My Age Again

Day 7. Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

Simple enough the prominent symbol of Pisces is the two fishes. I feel this can relate to the fact that I love both the winter and spring, which are both present in the duration of Pisces. As well, being a fish in the fact that I am a lover of the water, through swimming and sailing, I fit in perfectly with my zodiac's element. I feel there is not much to say, simple enough in the fact that I would not want to be anything else.

Day 6: Winter Paradise

Day 6. Write 30 interesting things about yourself {Things others may not know}

So around a year and a half ago I did a list of twenty things, which can be found here. Simple enough, click on the link and there are are twenty things about me you may or may not have known. Alas, that leaves me short ten items. In all honesty that does leave a bit of problems, and so I came up with a bright idea. How about several little buttons that give small pictures into who I am and what I like. So therefore via Facebook's Pieces of Flair application I share with you the following image:

For those who might be feeling the wintertime blues, although I myself am totally down with the snow:

Day 5: Serious Overhaul

Day 5. A time you thought about ending your life. {Your worst moment}

Life can really suck at times. Simple enough, sometimes the pain hurts so much that to get out of bed in the morning takes too much energy. So much so that if you were to step out into the street and get hit by a bus you wouldn't even feel the pain. I have felt such pain but I could never consider ending it all. For one I will never allow myself to be a quitter and two, there is always a silver lining. So no matter what, everything things look gray, there is still chance for the sun to rise again. 

Day 4: Looking For My Own

A cover of the song Save Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry, this is performed by the YouTube artist Alex Goot who I have enjoyed for some time. 

Day 4. Your views on religion.

I was born to Hispanic parents which through one could infer would typically mean Roman Catholics. That could be said of my mom who was the main drive behind the family going to church. My father who I believe has a religious necklace thing and always does the sign of the cross before driving never seemed to care so much about attending, even not going whenever my mother, my brother, and I would. I suppose that is how he must have been raised, a believer but not a devotee. I can remember early in my elementary years attending church and going to Sunday school but never entirely being attentive. After I participated in my First Communion we stopped attending until we moved to Italy. It might have been a year or two of attending before we once again stopped. In fact it seemed simply that we never attended during the summer and that would sometimes carry on into the school year. 

Returned my freshman year of high school under orders of my mother. I had to get confirmed, and despite my pleas to not have to wake up early Sundays, I had no choice. There were maybe twenty others in the class who knew way more about the bible, about Catholicism, and I never exactly felt like I belonged. I tried my best to cover my ignorance, I had no choice but to be there so I did my best to make it appear I wasn't some fake.

There was one kid in my class, it was his second time there. He talk to the priest and decided that he was not ready and was back to make sure he was for his Confirmation. When I found out I felt more like a fake than before. What was worse, he was killed in a car accident, reckless driving the cause. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Between leaving based on beliefs and simply making my mother happy. My Hispanic mother, the woman who did so much for me in my life that I simply could not quit. I had no choice whatsoever. 

I chose St. Christopher to be my patron saint. One could say that it was because the relation to my name but that was not reasoning. His story mean much to me, to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. There is nothing more hard, and requires not strength of the body but more of strength of will. He is also the patron saint of travelers. Both things held the most weight in my decision.

I was the week before confirmation, the class went on a retreat to a seminary. Someone brought a soccer ball, and we spent at least an hour playing keep away. It was just pure, no purpose but just to have fun. The next morning we were to each go to the priest and have confession. The whole time his head was bowed, he never saw our faces, who even knows if he could remember our voices that well. I could have told him the truth then and there that I did think I belonged there. In the end I went through it. I am now an "Adult" in the Catholic church but I have only been to church twice since then.

I am not sure if I believe in a God or an Afterlife. It is a nice thought to think it isn't over when its over, but I find it hard to believe without any actual proof. I believe that men simply need to have goodwill, to do the right thing since it simply enough is the right thing. I believe that what goes around comes around, its a basic since of physics. That every action has and equal and opposite reaction. In the end good actions will be met with good results and bad actions will lead to bad consequences. In a sense I believe in meditation, the search for peace of mind. One must be able to understand their mind, what they think. Hold true to those foundations, never compromise. 

Day 3: Oh Darling

Day 3- What are your views on drugs and alcohol.

I personally do not feel the need to use drugs or alcohol. Drugs are illegal simple enough, and drinking at my age is also illegal. First and foremost, I have to much on the line to even consider risking by doing something illegal. As well I have never felt the need to use any sort of substance in the attempt to increase my fun, especially when I would prefer to make more conscious choices and be able to fully experience things entirely natural. Maybe when I turn 21 I might have a beer or something else but I will never allow myself to become drunk.

I thought I might share a song I recently heard and have come to enjoy a lot.